A Weekend in Numbers

number of my immediate family who drove across the country: 4
immediate family who couldn't come: :( 7
great grandchildren running around: 7
grandchildren in attendance: 18 (that's out of 22, it was cool to have so many of us able to be there)
number of handkerchiefs my Mom brought to the funeral: 3 :)
nieces and nephews (my Dad's cousins) who consider my Grandparents their second parents: 6 (That was amazing to hear their tributes and to see them come from so far to honor Grandpa and all he did for them growing up and beyond)
pieces of ham M ate at the luncheon: 2, and these were BIG pieces! :)
german chocolate cake that our family, well hoarded: 5 (I'm not sure any other tables got some because we took it all it was so good! :)
number of times we crossed the Virgin River to bury Grandpa: 10
price of our hotel room in Mesquite: $24

I could get really cheesy and say something like "memories: priceless" but it really is true. It was a wonderful and busy and exhausting and HOT and fulfilling weekend. Even though I was hot and tired and feeling very pregnant in the heat and near the end didn't much care to look at another statue in the 110 degree heat, I was so glad to be surrounded by family, to have my Grandma surrounded by all of us hopefully supporting her, and be a part of this celebration.

Grandpa

My Grandpa died on Wednesday night. It's so strange how sad something can be when it's what you've been praying for and what you've been hoping would happen. I keep thinking about how free he must feel. He's been sick for so long and in pain even longer. Now, he can walk and move and talk and eat again normally. He's with family that he hasn't seen since he was a child. My grandparents have always strived to be a part of their grandchildren's lives. I'm sure he was at my baby blessing. He was at my baptism, my high school graduation, my college graduation from USU. He came all the way to Arkansas to be with me in the temple when I received my endowment. He came all the way to Minnesota to come to my wedding. When my parents moved back to Arkansas my junior year at USU, I was quite lonely. My grandparents made sure I was busy and loved and always had a place to go. I would come down for weekends and spend time and be fed good food and relax. They helped make that transition so much easier. I have been very lucky to be their grand daughter.

Grandma's coming home tomorrow. I'm excited for her to be back at home and to hopefully be of some comfort to her. I'm excited to be with family and celebrate my Grandpa who was admittedly a little scary when I was little, was a brilliant business man, and mellowed into a very loving and supportive grandpa.

Happy Furs Day!

There aren't many things cuter than when your two year old can wish her Dad a Happy Father's Day or "furs day"! :) She knows it's important and special and loves bringing her Dad special gifts and wishing it to him over and over! So cute!

I love the relationship M has with her Dad. Reading books is THEIR thing. I love it! I love love love to read and I love that she loves to read as well but I love that they read together even more! I hope he does that with the next little girl too. She runs to read with him and sit with him and ask for more books. They have done this since she was a newborn. (This is where once again, i'm wishing i had my pictures-just visualize a rocking chair with cute M and her Dad reading)

When he gets home from work, she runs to hug and greet him. I love this too. She's so excited to be with him that she just goes nuts over taking the trash out and getting the mail with him. She just looks at me and says "I be right back. I going Daddy mail."

Saturday was one of my work days. She was still sleeping when I left. I guess when she woke up, she asked where I was and as soon as he told her I was at work, she said, "okay. play football?" (She means PS2 football and sports-she loves to hold her controller and "play" with Dad while I'm working) He had to convince her to eat breakfast first though! :) She has always loved to watch video games with her Dad. they don't even do it that much but she would sit next to him and raise her arms and call "touchdown"! She doesn't mind that our Father's Day is filled with the US Open, we just continue to try to convince her that no, it's not football or baseball (Dad's other faves) it's golf. And when they replayed a great shot of Tiger's, she raised her arms and yelled "touchdown!"

I love my husband for the father he is and wants to be. His Dad is a great man but not hands on or mushy. My husband made it clear from the beginning that he wanted to be involved. He wanted hugs and kisses, he wanted to help out and he does and is all that and more. I love him so much for it.

I love my own Dad for the wonderful example he has been to our family. I have always worked hard to make sure he'll keep telling me he's proud of us. He has been a wonderful example of the priesthood for my husband.

Happy Father's Day everyone!

My Tiny Gymnast

I don't remember M moving this much in the womb! I take it back. She moved plenty, but she was more gentle! This girl's got a fierce kick! She's still breech as well so the kicks are straight to the groin and bladder-something else I'm not familiar with. I sit at night and just feel her gyrating all over all evening long! I know I'm paranoid but it made me nervous that the cord would get around her neck during one of her somersaults-of which there have been plenty, I assure you! It is still fun and reassuring, but this feels so different! I hope she sleeps sometime! :)

With all our stuff in storage, I tried to pack the newborn stuff so carefully so we'd have easy access to it. I have the clothes and I know where the carseat and bouncer and pump and bjorn are in the storage unit. It's been kind of funny to figure out the things that I didn't think to have easy access to though!
blankets-duh!!! luckily, we still have plenty and have been given a few already and we had sooooo many last time that we'll be fine
pacifiers-i probably needed new ones that wouldn't be gross and sticky anyway
burp rags-another duh!!! I thought I was missing the bibs and burp rags but found the bibs at the bottom of the newborn clothes bin luckily!
baby sheets and towels-we don't have any of the super soft towels accessible but luckily I did bring a sheet or two, just not enough if she pees on the bed every night! :)
the wonderful gift card that my coworkers gave me for a baby swing-argh!! this one is bugging me because they gave it to me especially for this but it's buried in a box with the frame they gave me! I'm still trying to convince myself that I will spend that much on diapers so it's okay to just buy the swing and then use the gift card on supplies later. but like i said, I'm still trying to convince myself of this one! :)
I'm sure there's more. It's just funny to me the things I was so careful about and the things I totally forgot!

A Million Directions

My Grandpa is dying. Months ago, when we first started planning to move here, my Grandma said to me, "Dying can take a long time. We seem to be on that road." Since I've gotten here in April, however, things have definitely accelerated. He broke his hip and went to a nursing home and my grandma moved in with my aunt to be closer to him. We have been so blessed during this time to be "caretakers" of their home and be able to stay here while we get settled in the area and figure out where we want to live long term. It has also blessed our family to be closer to this family during this time.

I went to visit my grandparents today. I'm so glad I did. It's been a few weeks and things change so quickly. He's been moved home to my aunt's house and hospice is coming in to take care of him everyday. When I moved here, I felt like my grandma had been taken over by a frazzled, frantic woman who was completely overstressed and overworked taking care of grandpa. It was hard to see her that way. Both of them have changed. I walked in to see my grandpa awake but not very aware, not responding to our questions or greetings, on oxygen and barely eating. My grandma, on the other hand, was at peace. We were able to share lunch, a game, and a lovely afternoon chatting and visiting. I have always been honored to be named after such an incredible woman and I'm often reminded of such. Especially being in her ward where she is considered a saint and an angel. And they're right. Where some of us walk in to see grandpa and only see how he's changed and how hard it is to relate to a dying man, she feeds him water through a syringe and gives him gentle kisses. And yet, she seemed frank and open about the future and so okay with her current situation. She kept telling me how well SHE was being taken care of.

It's strange to get to that point where it would be a blessing for things to end. She told me today that she's asked grandpa to tell her when his parents come for him. I hope they do. I hope they welcome him and embrace him into a wonderful comfort that he doesn't have to be afraid of so that he can be at peace too.

bonding

Last week was a hard one. I worked three days and then we had a crazy busy weekend. It was exhausting for all of us and poor M was a basketcase by Sunday night! She didn't sleep well-she was up crying four times! That is so NOT my girl! She was cranky and whiny and again, so NOT my girl! Poor thing, she was so attention starved and discombobulated!

I'm trying to make up for it this week. We're having good relaxing time together and today was wonderful! She went with me to my doctor's appointment. I knew I was having a follow up ultrasound so I purposely took her instead of getting her a babysitter. She enjoyed watching the ultrasound last time and my first one in MN was "no kids allowed" so I wanted her to experience it again. It's so hard to know how much she grasps at her age of what's going on. How her life is soooo going to change in nine weeks! Anyway, the tech was great and kept pointing things out to M and soon she was pointing them out too! She was so excited saying "I see the head, Mom!" or "toes, Mom!" and at one point, the baby was flexing and extending her little fist and M started doing it too! Soooo cute! It was so fun to see her connecting with this. The tech pointed out that her hands were by her face and that she was playing peek-a-boo and M just giggled and said, "peek the little sister!" She would reach up to the table and put her hand on my belly and get so excited! It was so fun! Later during the appointment she and I talked about things we could do with the baby when it comes and she got excited again about rocking the baby and holding the baby and changing its diapers. I think she's going to be such a good big sister!

ps-the hard drive has been backed up but is fried! At least my pictures are safe! Thank you Apple!!

The Infirmary

So my computer is at the Apple store having its hard drive backed up to salvage what we can. I told them I just want my photos back! Now that I'm home, I can think of a few other things like email addresses and some journals and all my scrapbook supplies that would be great too but I'll take what I can get at this point! They're not sure whether it is the hard drive or corrupted software on the computer, so hopefully once they clean it off and save my treasured files, we can figure out if the computer is dead or if it will work once it's cleaned off.

More Toddler Language Evolution!

It's no longer
"seep bee"
it's
"seep-uh boo-ee"
(Sleeping Beauty)

it's no longer
"edan"
it's
"Medan"
(people can actually tell what her name is when they ask her now!)

she used to hand me a book and say "share"
now she hands me a book and says "read uh me"

she used to shove away an unwanted anything and cry "dock it"
now she says "don't dike it" or "dike it" depending on how she feels

It's so fun to watch her learn new things!!

I'm still here

But the computer's still broken and using the office one isn't convenient when it's your baby's bedroom and your primary blogging time is when she's sleeping! (ha! most of you thought I just ignore my baby all day, huh! :)

A friend sent me an email earlier this week and it's still bothering me.

I don't know who to vote for.  I'm not convinced I like any of them.  I feel like I'm going to be choosing the lesser of two evils with whoever I go with.  I know who my husband's going to vote for.  We often cancel each other's votes out.  I vote anyway.  I like to think I'm not of a specific party but that I vote for who makes the most sense to me.  When it was the senatorial race in MN, my Republican husband voted for Mark Kennedy.  I voted for Amy Klobuchar.  Why? Because she ran a clean race and Kennedy ran mean ads.  I liked that she didn't stoop to his level.  Is that really a good reason to vote for someone? Maybe not, but I felt good about her being a good person. I'm rambling...

Back to the email. It had this picture in it. 

****I have learned after posting this today that he was not disrespecting the pledge like I was led to believe. He was singing to the national anthem with the rest of the politicians on stage, but not holding his hand over his heart. I'm not sure that makes me feel much better. According to an article debunking the picture, apparently all of them were not respecting the flag as they should have (hand over heart, facing the flag) but let's face it, the lay American doesn't see that as out right disrespect. I think they see not holding your hand over your heart as disrespect. I didn't post this to bash Obama. Like I said above, I have NO clue who to vote for yet, I just wanted to share that this type of thing does impact how I feel and it bothered me. Happy Wednesday!****

 It's really bothering me. I know the debates about the pledge of allegiance and I believe that people need to stand up for what they believe and that the purpose of our country is that you have that freedom.  However, I also believe that the pledge is ultimately about patriotism and pledging allegiance to our country, that's what it says anyway. I don't believe it's ultimately about who believes in God.  This may have ruined how I feel about Obama.  And I may have just ticked a bunch of my readers off, but maybe someone can help me understand it too.  Is it his right? Yes.  Is it appropriate? I don't think so.  I want a patriotic president.  Regardless of his religious beliefs, I want to believe that he loves our flag and our country.