For many reasons really. But yesterday, I went to her and complained about escrow accounts, grad school and its many joys including schedules and tuition, and sinus infections. She was perfect and didn't try to fix it. I went to work; congested, upset, but feeling a bit better.
I came home three hours later, feeling defeated that the sinus pressure had built to a point that I was a very ineffective and downright hazardous speech therapist. My Mom asked if I had read this month's Ensign. It's our church's magazine. And just my luck, I found hers not five minutes later, holed up in the bathroom (sorry if that's gross-she's the one who left it there! :) while my girls banged on the door so I could have some privacy. I didn't finish it then. I came home and opened my own copy. ...And then read three more articles.
I had fooled myself as I often do.
I had convinced myself that my poor attitude lately was because I was being a slacker and not being valiant in my scripture reading, prayers. I had convinced myself that everything would be better when I was more diligent. And when I was more diligent, I had fooled myself into thinking that it wasn't better despite my efforts.
But really it was. As the wise counsel reminded me, bad things happen to good people. Yes, this is my duh! moment. I know this. But somehow, it gets lost when you're frustrated and thinking things will magically work themselves out if you are a good person. Sometimes we just have to weather the storm.
2 comments:
so true but why can't i just believe it and move on! Thank heavens for Mothers. Mine is flying in tonight and I am so giddy I can hardly stand it :)
I love you and am so proud of you!
Post a Comment