Monday, October 4, 2010

All of this has happened before and it will all happen again

You know that pit-of-your-stomach feeling that is called rejection?

The one you feel when you get to church or school and hear all your "friends" talking about the awesome party that "everyone" went to that you never heard about?

That feeling?

Did you know you can feel it for your kids too???

M has always talked about these two friends from school. They play at every recess (as far as I know) and they just had a birthday (they're twins).

Today, I walk M into class to hear the twins' mom talking to another mom about their birthday party over the weekend.


But she's so cute and friendly and likeable and a total princess (which, believe me, works with these girls!) I want everyone to love her as much as I do!!!

Did I miss something? Is my baby girl struggling with friends at school and I don't know it?

And the question that makes the pit of the stomach feeling go all the way up to the lump in my throat...

Is she turning into me?


Emily said...

Oh, I know that feeling, too, and it's not fun. I can't imagine how much more it hurt to feel it for your baby. I'm so sorry, Liz.

A warm, loving home where she's loved unconditionally will be so much better for her in the long run than pre-school popularity. And I know you guys provide her with that, so she's already leaps and bounds ahead of most kids. And her teacher could tell you if she's having trouble with friends or if this is just a clique that doesn't fit her to a t. Hang in there!

Emily Larkin said...

I certianly know how it is to feel left out. If you are worried I say ask Megan if she is making friends. If she says yes, then no problem. Let her tell you if there is something wrong, cause at this age she will still tell you. Or you could ask the teacher. I recently had a birthday party for Max and I agonized over who to invite, and I couldn't invite some people cause I couldn't afford to throw a birthday party for 20+ kids. I hope people didn't get their feelings hurt, but it was just too much money.

The Montaño’s said...

I definately think our children's rejections hurt SO much more than our own personal ones. I know, you want to protect them from this sort of stuff, but unfortunately, it's called life. You are a wonderful person Liz so be glad and HOPE your daughter turns out like you!!

Heather said...

I've been in the preschool scene going on 5 years now. Here is what I've learned (just so you don't automatically run to your current conclusion):
1: Some moms are best friends before school starts and they just haven't got to know you yet.
2: It can be a cost issue to invite the entire class (like the above comment).
3: Some parents only like to invite family and their closest friends.
4: As you are the mom, you have to put any anxiety aside and introduce yourself, and make it a point to get to know the other parents. If they know you, they'll get to know your child too.

I learned when G was in Kindergarten, at the parent night, try to get all the parents emails/contact info so when parties do come up, you'll not leave anyone out. If you are outgoing enough to do this, other parents will be to. It's YOU the mom who has to make the first move. It's just how it is sometimes.

Linz said...

I feel so sad when I see one of V's friends intentionally leaving her out at a playground. I just want to cry and I know it's only the beginning.